Timeout 4 Mommy

Collect Yourself

I’ve Moved!!! September 3, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — timeout4mommy @ 11:30 am

After a long wait in line at GoDaddy I finally got my own domain!  www.Timeout4Mommy.com is the new home for my blog!

If you are subscribed on this WordPress blog you will need to resubmit your email on the new site.

I’m looking forward to having more creative freedom with the design and there are some exciting things coming!

See you there!



My Not-So-Little Girl September 1, 2010

Filed under: Kid Tidbits — timeout4mommy @ 8:24 pm
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I’m dedicating this post to my 12 year old daughter, Cheek, because frankly I want to strangle her right now.  She’s driving me out of my mind (no it’s not just a short putt, dad).  I need school to start, and quick, because her life hangs in the balance and so does my sanity.  Are all tweens bi-polar?  I’m trying to remember but honestly my middle school years are a blur.  I think I blocked them out.  I actually thought that this summer would be a breeze.  With the birth of my third (what WERE we thinking?) mid-June I assumed I would have a plethora of help, what with my daughter being so grown up and everything!  Fail.  But not completely, it just depends on what “mood” she’s in.  There are days where I get just the faintest glimpse of what a wonderful woman my daughter will become.  She’s smart, brave, kind, compassionate, helpful, so loving, and is friends with everyone.  Then there are the days that Dramatween takes over and she is holed up in her room for days, crying at the drop of a hat, or yelling at her brother.  Some days both of these personalities make several appearances.  You know those mailbox type openings prison guards slip food through to the “crazys”?  I’m thinking of installing one in her door.  Needless to say, this summer has been mass chaos.  I don’t function well in chaos.  School starts in exactly 6 days, 13 hours, and 24 minutes?

So, in all of my anger and frustration over the battle I chose this morning (her room) I walked past the wall where we record the kids’ growth.  Please see the picture to the right and try not to focus on how dirty the wall is.  This girl of mine has grown two inches in the past three months.  Three and a half inches in the last six.  She is currently taller than my sister, her Mamie, and only has four inches to catch up with me.  We just spent a small fortune on clothing because she literally grew out of everything she owned this summer.  But it was looking at this wall today that made me realize, she’s growing up.  Her craziness is from those horrible hormones that attack cute little girls and turn them into young women.  Her mood swings are a result of all the confusion that growing up causes.  She’s caught between being the girl that loves American Girl dolls and the tween that loves Justin Bieber (gag).  She recently had our hair stylist give her a pixie cut which swiftly pushed her into the tall and gorgeous category.  Her style has changed, her taste in music, movies, and books has changed.  We talk about boys instead of Barbies.  Everything is changing.  Did I mention yet that I am most definitely NOT ready for this growing up thing she’s got going on?

So now I’m torn.  Do I strangle her for being a total brat and deliberately disobeying me?  Or do I grab her and hug her like she’s never been hugged before because, really, how much does it matter if her room is clean when my little girl is slipping away?  Maybe I can do both at the same time.


Dramatween vs. The Pint-size Preschooler August 20, 2010

Filed under: Kid Tidbits,Mommy Morsels — timeout4mommy @ 9:59 am
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Sounds like a really bad (or really good) Kung Fu movie, right?  Or at least an insanely cool WWF match.  Well, it pretty much is minus the samurai swords or off-the-ropes body slams.  Because in our house you get a timeout for that kind of physical violence.  So the kids resort to verbal abuse.  I would have never dreamed that a 12 year old and a 4 year old could fight as much as my oldest and middle child do.  I always thought that the 8 year age difference would make them oblivious to each other; nothing in common, right?  Wrong.  In fact these two have so much in common that they are constantly at each other’s throats.  Now, I don’t mean that they share long conversations over Team Edward vs. Team Jacob or how cool the new Monster Truck video game is going to be.  Their interests are obviously totally different.  But mentally, they are on even playing ground.  Tweens and preschoolers, I’ve found, only care about themselves.  They are so self-absorbed that nobody else matters.  And, they’re always right.  As anyone who has been in a relationship knows, two rights always equal wrong.  Someone has to back down.  Not happening with these two.  They both cry to try to get their way.  Neither one listens even though their hearing is perfect.  And both of them will argue over who was sitting in a particular spot first until they have no voice left.  I’ve tried to let it go on that long just to obtain some peace and quiet but I just can’t stand the bickering.  So I intercede, preach to them about being kind to each other and then follow it up with a “and if you can’t stop arguing both of you will have your mouths Duck taped shut!”. (This is when I realize I’ve turned into my mother, but that’s an entirely different blog post.) They haven’t always been this way.  They both just entered the same mental state at the same time.  Coincidentally, I entered my mental state shortly after, and it’s not pretty.  I’ve noticed an increase in my need for timeouts and you can often find me sitting on my bed rocking back and forth trying to find my happy place.

The problem could be their age gap.  There is no middle child, say a nice 8 year old that could play referee.  We just have Beeb, the sweet, innocent 9 week old.   Although, I have a feeling that he’s like that baby in The Incredibles, the one that can burst into flames at a moment’s notice as a defense mechanism?  I’ve seen him turn pretty red, I think he’s on the brink of realizing his true powers.  Anyway, he is my refuge; my safe place.  Just yesterday, in order to escape yet another argument over which T.V. show to watch, I retreated to his nursery upstairs with a fully loaded bottle.  And, yes, I let my kids watch T.V., an obscene amount if that’s what it takes to have my house quiet for a bit.  I’m not ashamed.  In fact, I give a big ‘shout out’ to Dora for teaching my kids how to count in both English and Spanish.  But back to the Beeb and our escape.  As I sat there cradling him, whispering apologies about bringing him into such an insane family, I realized that this is why parents baby their babies.  By babies, I mean their last child.  Their final creation.  It’s because they’ve witnessed first hand what that pure, naive little bundle will become.  And they’re sorry, so, so sorry.  And sad.  And they want to hold on to that innocence, tightly, for as long as their restraining arms can hold it.  So that’s what I’m doing, relishing every moment I have with this little being that hasn’t learned how to talk back or roll his eyes at me.

And those moments are what make the tumultuous relationship between Dramatween and The Pint-size Preschooler bearable.  This too shall pass.  And when it does I’ll have two boys that are literally WWF-ing it to work out their problems and a 16 year old girl that doesn’t want to talk to any of us.  This is when I anticipate taking my sabbatical, sorry Jers.  I’ll send you a postcard.


Goodbye Hooptie! August 17, 2010

Filed under: Mommy Morsels — timeout4mommy @ 8:09 pm
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If you have read my About page you have seen that I consider us a one (reliable) car family.  Since my husband “lost” his job, “lost” meaning his former boss just decided to stop paying him, our finances have gone down the proverbial crapper.  One of the casualties was my hubby’s Trailblazer.  We then became a one car family.  Not so bad for some, in fact we’ve done it before.  However, that was back in the day when the love of my life had a sit down job in an office and I could take and pick him up from work and have the car to myself all day.  This time was different.  He is now self-employed, driving all over Southern CA.  He needed our one and only car.  I was left at home, pregnant, with two kids.  No bueno.  This lasted about two months.  Enter, The Hooptie.

This little bucket is a 1999 Ford Escort and has been a total blessing for our family.  Let me just say, it was in running condition when we got it, perfect for around the town errands.  We got it for free (yes, free!) from some friends of the family who were going to give it to charity.  We said, “We’ve got your charity right here!”.  I drove this little guy (yes, he’s a boy car) with pride, as if I was driving a brand new (enter cool car of your choice here).  Remember, I had previously spent two months with no transportation, I was now a liberated woman!  This lasted until Jers decided I shouldn’t be driving this “unsafe” car in my 8 month pregnant condition, surrendered my Tahoe back to me, and started driving the little red machine himself.  To L.A.  To Palos Verdes.  To Manhattan Beach.  From the O.C.  Hmmmm….probably not the best of ideas.  We single-handedly turned that reliable automobile into the Hooptie it is today.  First the A.C. went out.  Then the engine started making these horrid knocking, clacking sounds.  Sounds that left the “mechanic” of the family scratching his head.  All he could say was “yeah, it’s not good.”  The Hooptie has been benched ever since.  It has been two weeks and counting that we have become a one car family again and I’ll be honest, it sucks.  Now I’ve got three kids, it’s summer, and we’re stuck at home.  And I like being home!  It’s the fact that I can’t go anywhere if I wanted to that drives me crazy.

So back to The Hooptie.  In lieu of letting it sit in our driveway, slowly leaking oil, we decided to call Auto Buyer.  There are a ton of cash for cars places out there, but we liked this one because they advertise that they’ll take your “mechanically challenged” vehicle, which we thought was a very clever way of saying they’ll pick up your piece o’ s#@t beater.  And that they did, leaving us $100 which we’ll now give to our church.  The way we look at it, God blessed us with this car just when we needed it most (meaning before I went postal on my entire family) and we should give it right back to Him as a thank you.

Goodbye Hooptie, you served us and served us well.  You’ll be missed right up until we replace you with another used, and hopefully more reliable, family car.  RIP.


Spider for Hire! August 12, 2010

Filed under: Kid Tidbits — timeout4mommy @ 2:02 pm
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As you can see from my Wordless Wednesday post, we have a Timeout Corner.  It is used primarily for our 4 year old Deet but we are not opposed to using it for our tween.  In fact, if Beeb gets too unruly he may find himself copping a squat there in his bouncy seat.  Anyway, I found a spider setting up shop in our T.O. corner a couple of weeks ago.  It just so happened that Deet required some cooling-off time that same day.  Let me tell you, for a kid that calls worms his friends and enjoys picking up stray beetles, he does not want anything to do with spiders.  In fact, he is scared stiff of them.  Probably has something to do with his 6’4″ daddy running and screaming like a girl when he happens upon one (he’ll deny it I’m sure).  At any rate, spiders are rarely found alive in our home.  So when sent to the corner this fine day, Deet freaked.  And after being forced to stay in his timeout with the little bugger, about a foot away from his normal spot, he was so fearful of a timeout that I just needed to mention one and he straightened up right quick.  You see where I’m going with this, don’t you?

It may seem cruel, hell… it probably is, but I’d like to hire a permanent spider for our Timeout Corner.  Having one of those creepy crawlers is extremely effective in controlling behavior!   Unfortunately the aforementioned eight-legger was just a temp.   So I’m putting out a sign to let any passer by arachnids know that there is a possible way to avoid death in the Cole house.  The contract looks something like this:  Room and board in exchange for looming on a web (provided by you of course) and looking as scary as possible.  We only have two stipulations.  #1: You are to remain in the corner at all times.  Any deviation from this and it will be considered a breach of contract and you are subject to a brutal, but quick, death.  #2.  No fraternizing with the enemy.  Whatever child is sent to the corner should fear you.  You are NOT here to make friends.  P.S. We are an equal opportunity employer.  We do not discriminate.

If you know of any qualified applicants, send them our way.  Of course, if they aren’t hired we can’t promise you’ll see them again.


Wordless Wednesday August 11, 2010

Filed under: Wordless Wednesdays — timeout4mommy @ 10:53 am
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Timeout 4 Deet


Driveway Timeout August 9, 2010

Filed under: Timeouts — timeout4mommy @ 7:19 pm
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The first time I saw this commercial for the Toyota Sienna I was cracking up.  I had to include this in my blog.  So I went to You Tube and started reading the comments and can’t believe how many people think that, although she’s hot, this mom is a BAD MOM!  Really?  Because I TOTALLY identify with her!  If I had a pimped out mini van I would for sure be in it to get away from the kids for a timeout!  Just a few months ago I was very pregnant with Beeb and had to get out of the house.  I was beat.  I was frustrated.  I needed a drink.  But because of the little being inside that was sucking the life force from me, that was a no-go.  So I retreated to my Tahoe in the driveway in order to escape.  I ran from the house without the keys and prayed for the doors to be unlocked.  They were, thank God, or I may have internally combusted.  I threw myself into the passenger seat, because it was closer to me and being pregnant anything I could do to avoid walking any further was a bonus, and slammed the door.  Quiet.  A driveway timeout.  I don’t mind saying I cried a little, ok, a lot, and then did some deep breathing exercises.  These not only helped to calm me down but I figured it couldn’t hurt to practice for the impending birth of the third and final little monster that would be sure to send me into a similar frenzy someday.  But then it got hot…really hot.  I toyed with the idea of sweating off some of those pounds I had gained by consuming entirely too much ice cream but in the end I had to open the door.

My point here is that I get it.  I know that mommy in the commercial.  I AM that mommy in the commercial, on occasion.  And anyone who doesn’t understand her certainly doesn’t have children.  So take your timeout when and where you can…just remember to bring the keys.