Timeout 4 Mommy

Collect Yourself

Spider for Hire! August 12, 2010

Filed under: Kid Tidbits — timeout4mommy @ 2:02 pm
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As you can see from my Wordless Wednesday post, we have a Timeout Corner.  It is used primarily for our 4 year old Deet but we are not opposed to using it for our tween.  In fact, if Beeb gets too unruly he may find himself copping a squat there in his bouncy seat.  Anyway, I found a spider setting up shop in our T.O. corner a couple of weeks ago.  It just so happened that Deet required some cooling-off time that same day.  Let me tell you, for a kid that calls worms his friends and enjoys picking up stray beetles, he does not want anything to do with spiders.  In fact, he is scared stiff of them.  Probably has something to do with his 6’4″ daddy running and screaming like a girl when he happens upon one (he’ll deny it I’m sure).  At any rate, spiders are rarely found alive in our home.  So when sent to the corner this fine day, Deet freaked.  And after being forced to stay in his timeout with the little bugger, about a foot away from his normal spot, he was so fearful of a timeout that I just needed to mention one and he straightened up right quick.  You see where I’m going with this, don’t you?

It may seem cruel, hell… it probably is, but I’d like to hire a permanent spider for our Timeout Corner.  Having one of those creepy crawlers is extremely effective in controlling behavior!   Unfortunately the aforementioned eight-legger was just a temp.   So I’m putting out a sign to let any passer by arachnids know that there is a possible way to avoid death in the Cole house.  The contract looks something like this:  Room and board in exchange for looming on a web (provided by you of course) and looking as scary as possible.  We only have two stipulations.  #1: You are to remain in the corner at all times.  Any deviation from this and it will be considered a breach of contract and you are subject to a brutal, but quick, death.  #2.  No fraternizing with the enemy.  Whatever child is sent to the corner should fear you.  You are NOT here to make friends.  P.S. We are an equal opportunity employer.  We do not discriminate.

If you know of any qualified applicants, send them our way.  Of course, if they aren’t hired we can’t promise you’ll see them again.